Sunday, October 16, 2005

6,194 Words With Bun B
OZONE MAGAZINE LIKE WHAT?!?!?
HoustonSoHGTV

The new Ozone Magazine is on stands now everywhere and available free in many places throughout the south. Um, feel the funky real. I got to sit down with Bun B for a lil one on one. Um, I got so much more coming on Bun B in the coming weeks, but um, this one here.... realest interview ever. For you. Go get his debut solo album TRILL this Tuesday you bootlegging ass internet bitches. For real. If the man doesn't beat out everyone else from Houston in his first week, I'm searching you out via your IP address and coming to find you all personally. I know you downloaded it... I didn't, for the record. I didn't. I'll buy it just like you on Tuesday. Almost nobody sends me promos and nobody sends me CD's that I TRILLY want.




Bun B
By Matt Sonzala (now rockin' the title of Associate Editor of Ozone Magazine. Listen to me now, believe me later on, in the future)

I know Hurricane Rita hit Port Arthur, your hometown, pretty hard. Is your family o.k.?
Well they’re safe, but to see your city under water like that, they’re not o.k. That God for life and family, but I mean, I saw it happen in New Orleans, and you feel sympathy for those people, but now I’m gonna feel empathy because I know exactly what they feel like. Sympathy, and I hate to you know, get into vocabulary, but sympathy is when you feel compassion for somebody’s situation because you care about them. Empathy is when you feel compassion for people because you going through or you been through the exact same fucking thing. And that’s where I’m at right now.

Where’d you go when all this went down? Did you stay in Houston?
No, as soon they thought that it might even come close to the house, my mother left Port Arthur early Tuesday morning, she got everything she needed and she came to me. You know, my family and I, my extended family and I, as well as close friends we all said if anything like Katrina ever happened to us – and when we discussed it, it was half jokingly – as soon as we see something coming we’ll pack up and move. But no truer words were said. We were in such a panic that I ended up leaving my picture ID and we couldn’t travel any further than Dallas. We were gonna fly to either Atlanta or Seattle. Then I couldn’t go any further. I put all of my important stuff, ID, insurance papers and all that in a plastic bag, and left the plastic bag at home.

So you just drove up to Dallas? How long did it take you?
Yeah I just drove to Dallas Wednesday afternoon at like 3’oclock. It took us like 8 and a half hours. I don’t bullshit. Like I said, my mom came to Houston Tuesday, we got a good nights sleep, got up, went to the bank and that’s about it.

Shit well we tried to leave Houston early Thursday morning and went ten miles in five hours. Then turned around and came back and left Friday and made it to Austin in about 4 hours, but shit, it was like Mad Max out there. Families just stranded in their cars all along the side of the road. Like thousands of people just stranded. Shit was sad man.
Naw absolutely. My mother in law left at midnight and spent about 22 hours in the car and still didn’t make it past Tomball. Like Pimp C’s mom and them took 27 hours to go to Dallas. They were leaving from Port Arthur and they ended up being caught up in that rush. The city is small and the highways and all that are smaller and it made up for an even stronger crutch. I totally understand peoples frustration now. Thinking to themselves, “When can I go home? What’s my home going to be like? Do I even have a home?” That’s how I feel right now about the house I grew up in. Right now I don’t even know what condition it’s in. I thank God that I just filmed my video in Port Arthur. I documented the city. It’s not like the city is gone, but it’ll never be the same again.

Is it that bad in Port Arthur right now? I know they had some flooding but did a lot of the city get flooded?
Yeah a lot of the city got flooded. Literally, there’s a part of the city called Gillem Circle, it’s dead center of the city, it’s a big circle with a park and basketball court and baseball field and all that and when they flew overhead the only way I could even tell that that was the park was because my wife recognized the fish market because it’s painted like a real, like sky blue. I couldn’t even tell that’s what it was because the area around it you couldn’t even see the circle anymore.



When you were coming up in Port Arthur, that’s a fairly small city in Texas. There were no magazines, there were no videos, there was barely any radio. How did you say up on hip hop and eventually become the rapper that you are coming out of a city back then like Port Arthur, Texas?
When I was coming up there was four of us, and all we did literally, and when is ay literally I mean literally, disregarding school and everything else, we collected music. And it was like a competition. It was me, my friend Mitchell Queens, my friend Charles Jennifor and my friend Frederick, Ricky Johnson. That’s what we did. We would go out of town, we would order stuff. It was literally a search back then. There was no internet, there was no downloading, if you wanted to find new music you had to go to a record store that bought it or you had to find someone that already bought it or got it off a mixtape or something. So I mean, literally, we would take trips for an hour and a half, 2 hours just to get new music. I remember, I got the D.O.C. album before anybody else did. I went to Houston and got it. And literally had to call each one of those guys and let them listen to the whole album long distance My brother kicked my ass behind that shit. I fucked his phone bill up. Back then it really was a quest for music. We would read about something and literally have to go out and find it. Try to be the first person to find it. Back then the only thing we had access to was stuff you saw on TV or Rap A Lot stuff. But in order to find like “Scenario” remix or the Blueprint album from BDP, shit, back then an album could come out on the 22nd and you’d see advance copies on the shelf on the 14th or maybe the 7th. They used to always have early releases of albums, like 2 vinyls and 2 cassettes of an album before they’d come out. People used to sell their advance copies. So you’d hopefully try to get one of them and bust somebody out.

Were there record stores in Port Arthur selling rap music when you were coming up?
Yeah my friend Tim, his family used to own a record store called Music World. They kept it open for a couple of years and did pretty good with it. And then people like myself and Pimp C and DMD used to really wear ‘em out. Nine times out of ten we would have to tell them what to order and eventually DMD bought the record store. Then once hs career took of he couldn’t really keep up with the store. Shit for years, Music World and Ted’s Record Store literally you’d go in and tell them what to order but if you told them they’d get it for you. I used to come to Houston and go to the big Sound Warehouse that used to be at Bissonett and 59. My dad used to live at Braes Court and I used to just walk up the block, and spend half the day in that motherfucker. Some of my oldest friends in Houston are people that used to work at Sound Warehouse and people that used to work at Pancho’s Mexican buffet right there on 59. That’s where I used to be everyday in the summer time in Houston. I used to wear that bitch out.

What were some early records that really meant a lot to you?
Actually, No One Can Do It Better. Finding all that old Too Short 85 Girls shit. I really can’t think of many records that had as big effect on me as No One Can Do it Better. When I found out D.O.C. was from Dallas it really changed the game for me. Because Face was the first person to show us that not only can we make rap music down south but we can make jammin’, quality rap music. Face showed us that we’re not just rappin’ but we’re really making real songs and dropping real albums. I saw somebody like D.O.C. who was originally from Dallas transcend all that stuff and get down with Dr. Dre, who we all knew back then that Dre was the shit. It gave me something more to connect myself with I guess.

What about before rap music? When you were really young what was some of the stuff that you were coming up on? What really hit you before you started hearing rap music?
With my parents being from Louisiana I was raised on blues and zydeco music. So all I knew coming up was Bobby “Blue” Bland and Z.Z. Hill and shit like that and then the zydeco stuff. That kind of stuff, blues music, if you listen to UGK, Pimp and I were both raised on good amounts of good, old fashioned blues music. You can see it and feel it in the music. We sampled Lattimore, we sampled Bobbby “Blue” Bland, and stuff like that before. So it’s definitely not just soul music, we listened to soul music too, but more about blues. My family come from the real small towns and my uncles and stuff hung out at juke joints and stuff like that, so that’s the kind of stuff that really did it big for me. Blues music and shooting pool late at night. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to smoke me a cigarette and listen to some good old blues.

I think that’s interesting because I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this whole resurgence of rap music from Houston, and everyone is wondering where it came from and how so many artists sustained themselves or so long before they “hit the big time.” But the reality is that even before rap music… a lot of the networks that the independent rappers from the south are using to this day as far as retail goes and even some of the radio and the circuit itself comes from those days and the blues. It’s not that different from when it started. That whole network from Texas to Memphis to Atlanta to New Orleans, back into Texas that whole network is still in tact.
Oh absolutely. We were all raised in the same music so we all got that same sensitivity, it’s just what direction we choose to go in may be a little different.



What year did UGK sign to Jive?
1992, we signed on May 1st.

Both you and Pimp C have solo albums out on Rap A Lot this year. How did Rap A Lot miss out on y’all back then? Or, how did y’all miss out on Rap A Lot?
We ended up signing directly to an indy first. We didn’t have any buzz prior to releasing our first independent record. Everything came off that record. We weren’t from Houston so it wasn’t like we were in Houston making music with a little buzz. We literally were a couple of guys making music out of a bedroom in Port Arthur. We brought a demo to a guy looking for demos and it kind of went from there. Once we started making some noise, J. Prince started reaching out trying to get us down with them, but the guy we were signed with, he didn’t want to give us up. But to keep it absolutely fair, J. kept it real with us and always extended himself, like “If y’all need anything, don’t ever hesitate to call me.”

So did that label, Big Tyme sign to Jive or did y’all sign directly to them?
Big Tyme signed to Jive. But you know back then they had that clause that if the indy label fell off you went straight to them.

What all did you release on Big Tyme?
Just the one album, The Southern Way.

That spawned the song “Tell Me Something Good” right? Tell me about those days. That was really in the early days of urban radio even playing any hip hop. You guys took over the airwaves here in Houston at least. How did that feel?
Right. That felt good because you know what happened originally with UGK was we won Houston Home Jams and we ended up winning. But because we were already pressed up they went and disqualified us. But people that were following the contest ended up calling the station so much that they ended up having to spin it anyway. That just ended up giving us more sales and what not. I remember being in the car and hearing for the first time “And now the number one song in H-Town, UGK with “Tell Me Something Good,” I mean you could have smacked me with a brick and I wouldn’t have felt it. You have to understand that while I fully appreciate my blessings and everything I’ve been given from rap, rap was never my dream. I was always happy to appreciate music, the music I bought. I never thought I could make it.

You never thought you would make it?
Well like I said, it was never my dream. I started rapping on a dare. I told some guys frankly like “Y’all niggas is cool or whatever, but I done heard better. And if I wanted to rap I could do better.” And they was like “Well fuck you nigga, give it a shot.” You know? I went home and wrote and it was shitty. It had a bunch of big words in it. But it rhymed and it was on beat, which was better than one of the members in the group. That mahfucker wasn’t even rapping on beat. So I just ended up rapping with them cats and excelling personally, but rap was never my dream. But it was something I wanted to do to see if I could do it. And I knew Pimp was 101% down for it so I just stayed down with Pimp. At the beginning I wasn’t really sure. Like I said, it wasn’t my dream so I wasn’t even sure we were gonna make a record. But I remember Pimp saying one day, “Fuck this shit. I’m gonna make me a rap album.” The way he said it I was like “You know what, I bet this cat is gonna make an album. So if I wanna be on an album I better stick with this cat.” And I did and the rest was history.

From those days of starting rap on a dare to today, there’s people now who see you as one of the greatest ever in the game. And it’s kind of been different for you than it’s been for a lot of rappers. A lot of rappers come out and blow up and then maybe fizzle out, but you have seemed to have gradually climbed throughout your career to this high point right now. Throughout your career, besides those early days, did you ever doubt yourself? It seems like you had kind of a hard road getting to where you are right now.
Yeah I used to want to quit all the time, so did Pimp. Fortunately we never wanted to quit at the same time. It would be, he would get down about a situation and I would have to pick him up and remind him of what we were doing and who we were representing and what we were doing this for. And vice versa. I would get depressed and he would have to cheer me up. That’s why I say “Thank God we were never depressed together.”



Well why are you doing it and who are you doing it for?
Port Arthur, point black, period. We had to keep in mind that we weren’t just representing for a group or a certain style of music, but we were representing for a certain group of people who really until a fucking hurricane blew through their city, nobody even fuckin’ heard about. That’s what we do it for. We come from a real small town that don’t have much going for it.

Can they hear Houston radio in Port Arthur? Can you get Houston TV in Port Arthur or is it totally different?
We used to be able to. It used to be on a stronger frequency and we could pick it up when we were younger. It depended on what part of Port Arthur you were on. We have a station now but we didn’t have one back then. We just got our own station in Port Arthur like 3-4 years ago. Back then it was clothes hanger antennas trying to hear the shows. The big thing for us was Kids Jam. Old TSU shit. We’d catch that and that’d be where you’d hear Ice Cube “Illegal…” um…

King Tee hosting.
Exactly! And just the music you could catch back then. That was a big access for us. Sometimes when you couldn’t catch Kids Jams, sometimes you’d have to drive damn near to Beaumont to catch Kids Jams. Sometimes you couldn’t catch it at all. But somebody would go back to Houston, tape it off the radio and bring back a solid copy. You know what I’m sayin’? You had to really love music to even get it back then. I remember being down south trying to learn mathematics back then. You know how hard that shit was to try to break down Rakim and Poor Righteous Teachers records and find the hidden messages in Big Daddy Kane and Kool G Rap. You know what I’m saying?

Do you think that the lack of effort that it takes to find music is kind of hurting the quality of the music these days? I don’t want to sound like an old man, but there’s definitely less records like Poor Righteous Teachers and Big Daddy Kane than when we were coming up?
I think the problem is drive and initiative. I think because it’s so much easier to get into stuff. Like right now it’s easy to get into rap music. Ten years ago it wasn’t that accessible. You couldn’t just put in a rap tape and figure out what was going on. It was more complicated back then. Secular. More clickish, which I guess is not good. The world of music should be open to all, but when it is open to all, this is what happens. The state of music that we’re in right now where it’s all popcorn, microwave shit. Back then I remember in 1992 making an album, you’d make the album, you’d sit back and make sure you had a good album and then go back and try to find the single in there. Nowadays, mahfuckers just want the single and the video and the rest of the album is redundant. It’s like “well we got a track by so and so and x is gonna shoot the video and we good.” And that’s not true, that shit don’t work like that.

Video killed the radio star.
Dang, say it again. One thing I can say that a lot of people don’t understand is, all artists start out as listeners. Right now the state of music, the listener is lazy because he doesn’t have to try hard to get music. So by due process the artists become lazy.

It’s just too easy.
Exactly, that’s what I wanted to say before we got off on that subject.



Well back then, even though you were recording records in your bedroom, it wasn’t the same as anybody just being able to hook up a computer and a microphone.
Naw I come from the age of 2-inch reel. When you were laying a verse and you messed up, it used to take 2-2 ½ minutes to rewind that tape back to the top and link all the dat machines or the adats up together and record it. Like doing a verse used to take literally like 45 minutes to an hour. Now it’s just a click of the space bar and you’re back to square one, ready when you are. Back then you had to stop that big ass machine, rewind that big ass 2-inch tape. Couldn’t rewind it fast because it had to slow itself down naturally or it’d snap. Back then when you used to have to splice shit. Right now it’s just a matter of sliding a mouse over a certain part of a song, emphasizing what you want and just moving and clicking it. That’s it. Ten years ago, 15 years ago, you’d take the 2-inch tape, the guy would have to take a razor blade, cut that shit, tape it back together like true engineers. Like engineer in the sense of the word engineer. As in to deal with the intricacies or whatever. But that’s neither here nor there. I once heard a man say that with innovation comes procrastination. The easier we make it to do things the longer people take to do them.

It seems like it’s hard for a lot of rap groups to stick together. I’ve seen groups come together who right from the beginning were only really focused on their solo shit. But you and Pimp always stuck together. Everyone already knows the situation with Pimp, but have you and Pimp always wanted to do solo records? Because even now, though you’ve been apart for four years you still seem pretty content as a group.
Well here’s the thing. We always wanted to use the solo albums to experiment and do different things, because Pimp and I are two different people. Pimp’s got a way of expressing himself and I got a way of expressing myself. That usually was the draw for people. We always wanted to do our solo thing and experiment and play with the game and some things, but the problem was with UGK we couldn’t even get excited about doing solo albums because they kept treating our group albums like shit.

If Pimp was out of jail, do you think Trill would be a different album than it is?
Yeah my solo album, like I tell people all the time, they ask me what’s gonna happen when me and Pimp get back together? I tell ‘em the Red Sea is gonna part. Like there is no better tandem in music, right now, to date, period. There has been but there’s no better right now. We have the experience, we have the talent and now we have the opportunity. Everything that everybody’s been able to take advantage of now is what we been fighting for our whole career, and I’m not mad at it because we’re still viable as a group and we’ll be able to take advantage of the shit. Like, I talked with Jeff Sledge from Jive the other day and he was telling me “Man, B., it’s crazy. Ten years ago you guys were telling us about DJ Screw, syrup, “Man Hold Up” and things and you guys used to be so Houston back then and we just didn’t see the big picture.” He says now everybody’s into all this music and the Screw, but we could have had a lock on this years ago.



Well I have to say that I appreciate you not being mad about it and I understand your whole take on it, but you gotta at least get a little annoyed sometimes with this shit man.
I really don’t Matt. You know why Matt? Mike Jones is not taking any money out of my pocket. Paul Wall, Slim Thug, Lil Flip, Chamillionaire, they’re not taking any money out of my pocket. This is money that I wanted south niggas to have anyway. At least let a south nigga get it. I really feel like that. The power and the money and the direction of hip hop is coming from here and I can get it. I’m really not salty about anybody seeing any fuckin’ money, why would I be? I’m on everybody’s fuckin’ album, I’m eating with everybody. Now if somebody blew up and shut everybody off, then yeah I would be mad. Because we never intended to do that. I feel honored that the love that we put out and the reciprocal fashion in which we did shit, “I hold you down, you hold me down.” We just really glad that niggas took it to heart like that.

Well no you don’t need to be mad at the artists in particular, but just like Jeff Sledge said, ten years ago and beyond the exact same shit was being said by UGK and by people in the Screwed Up Click.
For sure. We weren’t the first people to say some of the things we said. By far. We were not the first people to talk about syrup or fry or you know, flippin’ swangas and stuff but we were in a position to perpetuate the lifestyle a little further than other people could. What we did to help the Screwed Up Movement, they call us Honorary Screwed Up Click members because, we weren’t Screwed Up Click in the beginning when we were doing these songs, but we wanted to help blow them up. We knew that was real Houston shit. Hell I was in that backroom kicking it. On the southside buying drank and shit like that. And you know, we were from Port Arthur, but what was Port Arthur doing? The same shit. So we were like if anything is gonna get out here and help represent this shit it’s gonna be the Screwed Up Click shit.

When was the first time you met Screw?
I met Screw back in late ’91, or early ’92. Literally like January of ’92. Screw used to DJ at a place called Club New Jack. And I used to go through there. I used to work at Kings Flea Market and after work I would just hang out on the south side and some nights I would just end up rolling dice on the pool table at New Jack and Screw would be the DJ. Me and Screw would be leaving that place at 4 or 5 in the morning at times together. At one point, I was like you know, “We finna drop a record,” and he was like “No shit?” and I was like “Yeah when we getting ready to press it up I’m gonna bring you some vinyl.” I brought Screw the test vinyl, and he put it up on his wall. I never had a bigger compliment that that in my life.

That was “Tell Me Something Good?”
Yeah, if you look at the picture on the inside of Ridin’ Dirty, there’s a picture of us with Screw in Ridin’ Dirty, and this is for anyone who ever went to Screws house, on the wall was the test pressing. He put it up on his wall in honor of us. That’s why every now and then I just give it up to him. He was a fuckin’ naturally good dude. And Screw could have made a lot more money, but he really just wanted to keep it south side.

Do you remember the first time you ever heard your voice Screwed?
I had heard him Screw some of our stuff before, but I remember the first time we got our first tape, and there’s no better feeling than that in this world. Being a Houston rapper I mean there really was none. For a lot of these cats, I really feel for them because they’ll never get to experience that.

When he was DJing at New Jack, was the music slowed down?
No, not then. I remember the music slowing down first time I heard it was maybe, summer of 1992. And you know anything past ten years for cats who been sipping on syrup and stuff like that, it gets a little cloudy. Cuz I’ve had people say “Man I remember jammin’ y’all boys back in the summer of 1991.” And I’d be like, “There’s no way in hell you jammed me in the summer of ’91.” I wasn’t out in the summer of ’91.



Well Screw was a genuine DJ. He was a party rocking DJ, a club DJ, a scratch DJ, he did everything, he just added his own touch to it.
Yeah. It was slowed down but it was trick mixing and I think a lot of people didn’t really give him his card because they thought he was trick mixing slow, but he wasn’t. I don’t want to give a way the full process of how Screw did his thing, but just know that that fool was really on those turntables spinning that shit. You can listen to his tapes, if you can find an off beat scratch on there I defy you. And you’re talking about a guy that was high as shit. He had been on the tables literally for 5, 6, 7 hours straight by himself. And that’s what they never give Screw his card for. Screw used to DJ hours upon hours on end. Most people would have gotten claustrophobic and kicked the walls down in that fuckin’ place.

Who else looked out for y’all back in those days?
Definitely Too Short and Scarface. They were the only people trying to really give us any information to gain. They were telling us that we could beat the game. They helped keep us ahead of what record company people might do to us. The kind of shit that people might try to pull on us. They always tried to keep us up on the game cuz they were like “Y’all are real representers, you’re honest representers, y’all gonna tell the truth and we need people like that in the game.” And that’s what I been trying to do. When I see young cats, I try to keep them in the game. That’s important to have people like Killer Mike in the rap industry. I take a personal latching on to some of those guys. It’s important to have a Graph and a Papoose in the game, for any kind of forward movement. You know it’s important that people like Chino XL gets back in the game.

You seem to be like a genuine mentor to a lot of these folks who people are jammin’ right now.
Well I wouldn’t want to try and lead or direct anyone’s career, I would like that they have more say in it than I would. Even though cats look up to me enough to ask me that, believe me I’m honored by it. They ask me to manage them but it’s not really about that. I can’t do that. I can’t watch out for people that’s trying to fuck over you as an artist because I’m an artist and I got to look out for people trying to fuck over me.

They say the game is to be sold and not to be told, but you’ve told the game to a lot of the people hitting right now. I’ve seen you be a part of a lot of peoples careers without being their manager and without locking them down into some crazy contracts and shit.
Well people like a Young Jeezy know who they are and know how they want to be represented. Know how they want to be heard, but doesn’t have that business cutoff switch. Like he’s gonna handle whatever happens in that business room the same way he’s gonna handle it on the street. And nine times out of ten that’s the perfect way to handle it. But there’s that tenth time where sometimes you might have to fall back, chill out, rethink your situation and come at it the best way. I don’t want these guys to be locked out the door because they felt they had to tell somebody, “Fuck you. You bitch ass nigga.” There’s ways to tell people in the corporate world “Fuck you. You bitch ass nigga.” The same way they tell us, you know what I’m sayin’? You have to know how to move amongst them. But I would never tell nobody to hold their tongue. Hell I rap in a group with Pimp C. In UGK there was no tongue biting whatsoever.

As street oriented as UGK is, there’s always been a message in your music and a method to your career. You influenced a lot of todays rappers, but I think they missed a lot of the most important things you said.
I think the best thing you can do is lead by example. If they won’t listen to you directly maybe they can pick up game indirectly. The subconscious is a motherfucker. So when I’m around people, I speak seriously. Like there’s a time and place to kid around, but I don’t do it often. I don’t do it much at all. Especially when I’m with the next generation because I noticed that there was a lot of messages in the music I listened to growing up. Some of it I picked up on, some of it I didn’t pick up on. I listen to music right now and realize “That’s what he said?” I did that last night with “Ain’t No Half Steppin’.” I picked up a line that I didn’t even realize that he said. I was like “Wow, these cats were so much deeper.” So maybe a lot of things are said that don’t get caught. But I try to speak with actions, a lot of cats come around me and think it’s some “Man, hold up” time and I start talking some real shit.

What can we expect to hear on your solo album, Trill? Is there any Pimp C production on this one? Did you dig up any of his old beats?
Naw, I did find two but I didn’t use them. I worked with Mannie Fresh, Jazze Pha, Medicine Men, Mr. Collie Park, Mr. Lee, Sean Wee from the MDDL FNGZ. I tried to get a lot of different sounds in there.

What about features? You’ve been featured on practically everybody’s record. Who’d you call in for this one?
I can’t even front, I called in all the big guns. Ludacris, Too Short, Jay-Z, Juvenile, Ying Yang Twins, Baby, Mike Jones, everybody from Houston, all the Houston allstars. Young Jeezy, TI, Billy Cook, I pull out some heavy hitters. I wouldn’t even bullshit you. I literally have a song with me, Pimp C, Jay Z and Jeezy on it with Zro singing the hook. It’s called “Get Throwed.” And I got a song with me, Scarface and Jeezy. “Trill Recognize Trill” is me and Ludacris produced by Lil Jon. Me and the Ying Yang Twins remake “Get it Girl.” Trey Songs is on the album. I just got crazy shit. It’s hard to even think about it. The intro to my album is called The Inauguration because I’m declaring myself the President of the South. The reason I’m doing that is because people from the south are being overlooked and misrepresented. It’s been happening for a while, but now the nation finally sees it due to Katrina. Like how long they been pushing us to the back and treating us like second class citizens. So I feel that for the southern states of America we need our own separate representation. I hate to bring it back to the confederacy, but that’s the reality is that the people up north in Washington don’t give a damn about us boys down south. And I know it may sound crazy for a black man to use the same ideology that racist white men used years ago but it’s the truth. Them boys up north, them yankee boys, and I don’t mean this for my New York people, I mean the people in the District of Columbia, that sit in the Senate and the House and don’t do shit and don’t give a fuck about us in the south. We need to start representing for ourselves. That’s what I am. I’m gonna start making sure that people in the south hear what we have to say. Until Pimp comes home, when Pimp comes home he’ll be the president. But right now I’m gonna be the President. I’m trying to get David Banner to be my VP because I need him. He’s one of the only people I know that’s gonna stand up and fight for this shit. And fight for it like I want it. So just be looking for the leaders. Right now I’m starting off with the Southern States of America campaign. Because really it’s time for us to start standing up for us. Be on the lookout for the leaders of the new south campaign too.



Go BUY TRILL TUESDAY I'M TALKING TO YOU!

HoustonSoHGTV

And I know y'all come to HoustonSoReal expecting the real. I try to give it to you every few days or so. But my life is not all posing in t-shirts I get for free as I hoo-ride the Houston rap elite. No quite often, I'm up to my ears in real shit. Like today. I fixed the toilet.

Shout out to Serg of Beer and Rap and SoManyShrimp fame. The boy was my straight um AIM technical support for like 3 hours as I tolied with this fucking toilet. He even gave me the name for this post. DJ Eva and MC Elena at my side the whole time.


Yeah right, real easy.

For the past few days, our toilet here at CasaSoReal has been running. You know the deal, it never quite fills, consistently drains, just makes noise and wastes water, but due to my um, hectic schedule, I just got around to giving it a good look today. I straddled the thing backwards, with the top off and fiddled with everything I could fiddle with, before deciding that I could not just rig the bitch up, I had to replace all of it's innards.

Serg sent me a link from Home Depot and told me I needed to stomp into the new milenium and get some sort of Fluidmaster Replacement kit. So, knowing that Serg knows what the fuck he's talking about when it comes to any subject involving tools and manhands, I loaded DJ Eva in the 626 and hit up Home Depot.


Got the kit, brought it home, thinking to myself "Man this should be no problem. Easy to Install, all this shit is right here..." Yeah right.


So I shut off the water and took the whole damn thing apart. Which proved to be fairly easy I guess.


Eva helped immensely.


She even brought out her own tool box to make sure we were all set with everything we could possibly need.

Except we didn't have a HUGE pipe wrench to get the most important part, the um, drain thing or whatever it's called out to make way for the new.


So we just burned the bitch. Seriously, I couldn't get the thing to move, I wasn't about to go buy a huge pipe wrench just so I could remove some plastic bitch thang, so I got the lighter and a screwdriver and proceeded to burn and pry.


Baby Elena wasn't too into the smell of burning plastic and she had the foresight to cover up those all important nostrils leading up to her developing brain. Me I just sat there and watched it burn. Fuck it, it's too late for me.

Anyway, after a whole lot of rigamarole, including a compelete assembly and subsequent disassembly after I discovered that those um washers I didn't put in, really were good for soemthing, we had...


Success. Peace, quiet, flushing with no issues. Ah. I feel like a brilliant scientist.


And we're back to normal.


I don't know why the fuck I felt the need to document the fixing of my toilet. I just know that this is yet another cute photo of Eva, and that my friends is beyond SoReal.

Funny story.

This morning we got up early to hit this huge neighborhood garage sale thing in Woodland Heights. A bunch of houses had sales so you could just park the car and walk around the neighborhood looking for shit. You ever wonder why EVERY person who has ever had a garage sale ever has really corny Christian and self-help books SOMEWHERE in the mix? I mean seriously, I always go straight for the books at garage sales and inevitably at every house you can find a copy of "YOU CAN DO IT!" and/or "Healing Hymns for Sinning Familes." Like serious. Or books about war.

Anyway we get to like the thrid or fourth house and Eva starts digging through a pile of toys. In it she finds a pair of bunny ears for 50 cents. So of course she wants the bunny ears. She had a dollar in her Barbie wallet and so I say "O.K. take the ears up the the lady and pay her for them Eva." So she pulls out her Barbie wallet but instead of handing the lady her dollar, she pulls out my Southwest Airlines Rapid Rewards card and hands it to the lady like a credit card.

Everyone fell out.

Thing is, she was serious like "Why I can't charge this on my card?"

Anyway I been looking for that card. I even called Southwest Airlines when I booked my ticket to New York the other day so I could get and enter my Rapid Rewards number. Little freak-oh.

Anyway, yeah said ticket is to New York City October 24th - 26th. Rapid Ric Live at Sway Oct. 24th with a special surprise guest. Get ready to rumble... See you there I hope.

6 Comments:

Blogger 893 said...

Thanks for this Matt. Good luck with your toilet!

1:21 PM  
Blogger maggi said...

I have fixed a toilet with that sht a million times before, and I do not remember ever having to remove the back of the tank!!
You're crazy, Matt!
maggi

5:58 AM  
Anonymous SouTherNGurL said...

LOL @ MC Elena now..gotta have an MC to go wit the DJ right? little cutties..
Matt the plumber

9:06 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

DJ Eva is so dang cute, its ridik. She gonna wind up breakin' a lot of poor dudes hearts before she's through, please believe.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Jason Hess said...

Matt,

I've been checkin out your blog for a while now and never left a comment. I live in Dayton, Ohio, but have been really into Houston rap since 2002. I love me some Devin, Bun, Chamillionaire, Slim, UGK, etc...etc...etc...Your blog is the shit man and mad informative! Keep up the good work! Keep holdin it down.

JHess

1:28 PM  
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