I HEART THE LIBERAL MEDIA!!!!!

I was sitting having breakfast with my good good homeboy Bill O'Reilly today, talking about the piece of shit liberal media and how they are ruining the moral fiber of America with their horseshit anti-death and destruction (and don't forget the chaos) sentiment, and all of a sudden he pulled out the New York Times. I ran to my kitchen, put on a necklace of garlic and grabbed a cross, cuz I knew God was watching and God don't like no liberals. I learned that from my good friend Bill O'Reilly.

Anyway, as he was about to show me this story where they kind of questioned the imminent slaughter of every brown skinned person on the planet, the Arts & Leisure section fell out and who did I see on the cover but Mike Jones.

Now see, Mike Jones is black, not brown, so me and Bill don't hate him anymore (see BROWN IS THE NEW BLACK YOU LIBERAL FUCKS!). Plus he's bout his money and will do anything repetitive to get it, so we are down for him. So I says to myself, "lemme peep this bitch right here out," as I swallowed my last bite of extra fat bacon topped with mayonaisse and raw egg yolks.

So I'm reading the piece, entitled The Strangest Sound in Hip-Hop Goes National, and I'm thinking to myself, "what this article is talking about, Aesop Rock or some shit?" BUT NO! It's all about Houston, my beloved town. My beloved, dirty, slow town. Written by KELEFA SANNEH, a man who's only been to H-Town a few times, it's one of the best pieces ever written about my cities rap scene, ever. And I've read 'em all so you know it's real. I don't know how he did it, shit rules. Even Trae likes it, and Trae doesn't like anything.

Anyway I'm reading and reading and I get to the second part on page 25 and BAM there's a frickin' half page picture of Devin the Dude, and even though he's a dope smoking, pussy go-getting liberal, I get AMPED. I'm like damn they did an article on Houston and REALLY TRILLY RECOGNIZED THE REAL. You gonna pick from the 20 or so "name" artists in Houston and you pick Devin for the HUGE photo? Respect.

So I'm reading and all of a sudden I see something I can't believe, my name in print and the muthafuckin url for this here site, HOUSTONSOREAL. I'm thinking to myself, damn, this liberal media is starting to recognize me, I have to support them. So after I finished my bacon, egg and mayonaisse and tea, I hopped up from the table, smacked O'Reilly down like a bitch ass cunt and went straight to the Democrats office and registered.

O.K. I'm lying, I don't hate the liberal media, I just prefer the anarchist media, and well, you might wonder why I was having breakfast with O'Reilly, but that was a lie, I was having breakfast with a hangover ($3.75 Guiness beers at the Count Bass D show last night WHAT!). Anyway, much respect to my man Kelefa. Dude, you really put it down. Just mentioning this site tells me that you're real, and mentioning this site amidst a wealth of very true and legit information, well, that's even better. (The part about TI getting more support than Flip in this city may be a bit subjective, but um, well, not entirely untrue, but not entirely true, it's just subjective so fuck it.)

Anyway y'all, faithful readers, you gotta peep this bitch out. The NY Times is like, um, you have to register to peep it, so here ya go, the article in it's entirity. If you ever meet Kelefa, buy him a beer, or a bottled water, or whatever he likes. He deserves it for putting it down so well.

And after Kelefa's story there's a link to an Austin American Statesman story by Joe Grossoreal as well that I should have posted during the craziness of SXSW, but I didn't and I am sorry. I respect those who respect me, so much. And i respect you too. Thanks for tuning in.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/17/arts/music/17sann.html?

The Strangest Sound in Hip-Hop Goes National
By KELEFA SANNEH

Published: April 17, 2005

EVERY few hours on BET, something strange happens. Some extravagantly painted and spoked cars come weaving down a street, accompanied by a trio of rappers delivering lyrics in a drawl thick enough to distort half the vowels and erase half the consonants. It may seem like a normal enough hip-hop video, but there's a catch. Everything - the beat, the rhymes, the chorus, even the cars - seems to be moving in slow motion.

The video is "Still Tippin'," by Mike Jones with Slim Thug and Paul Wall, and it's the latest hit to come from the hip-hop scene of Houston, which has been producing some of the country's best and weirdest rap music since the late 1980's. An obsessive fan could go broke trying to round up the dozens of hip-hop CD's that the city produces not every year but every month.

These days, though, Houston hip-hop is attracting not only the unhealthily obsessed but the newly curious, too, thanks in large part to the three men in the video, who are all scheduled to make their major-label debuts in the next few months. Mr. Jones - who cheerfully admits, "I'm forever promoting" - rarely spits a rhyme without announcing, "My album, 'Who Is Mike Jones?,' coming soon." And now it's true: he is to release it on Tuesday, through a new partnership between the Warner Brothers imprint Asylum and Swisha House, one of Houston's leading labels; Paul Wall and Slim Thug will follow suit this summer.

Then there's Lil' Flip, whose thug-love song "Sunshine" was one of last year's biggest hits in any genre; he's working on a big-budget album to be released this summer. And the Houston pioneers Scarface, from the Geto Boys, and Bun B, from UGK, both plan to release solo albums this fall. Altogether, Houston seems about to explode. But then again, as the veterans will tell you, chuckling knowingly, it has seemed that way before.

Much of the hip-hop coming out of Houston today can be traced to a tatty little shop on the south side that's announced by an odd sign: "Screwed Up Records & Tapes." Inside, the place has all the charm and elegance of a check-cashing joint, and hardly anything has been changed since 2000, which was the year the store's proprietor, DJ Screw, overdosed on the intoxicant he helped popularize: prescription cough syrup. His cousins maintain the store to honor his memory, and, of course, to pay the rent.

In the early 1990's, DJ Screw made his name as a psychedelic remixer: he loved to slow records down, or "screw" them, and chop them up, manipulating them to repeat his favorite words or phrases. The effect, and perhaps the cause, was intoxicating. He released the results on a series of "screwed and chopped" mixtapes.

As DJ Screw's fame spread, Houston hip-hop was transformed: the city's rappers had to adapt to his syrupy style, and some joined forces with him to form the Screwed Up Click. Perhaps Screw's innovation fit the city's slow, rambling speech patterns. Perhaps it even matched the region's thick, muggy climate. Or perhaps Screw tapes were simply the perfect entertainment for a highway-happy city where you might spend more time driving to the club than being there. The Screw shop still sells CD's and cassettes; where else do you find a tape deck these days, besides the dashboard of a not-exactly-new car? Whatever the reason, Screw stuck. It's been five years since DJ Screw's death, and just about every new album or mixtape from Houston is still available in two versions: regular or slow.

Few tracks sounded better screwed up than those of UGK, a duo from down the road in Port Arthur, Tex., that spent the 1990's releasing great albums that few listeners outside the South had a chance to hear. Pimp C, the group's producer and dandy, has been in jail since 2002, convicted of aggravated assault. But Bun B, the group's dazzling lyricist, recently agreed to meet an out-of-town reporter at one of his favorite restaurants, the Breakfast Klub, in downtown Houston.


Michael Stravato for The New York Times

While putting away a deep-fried pork chop, Bun B explained that DJ Screw's sound helped earn the city national respect. In the early 1990's, he recalled, "every time I would go to New York with something I thought was original, they was like, 'Aw, man, we was doing that in '84.' "

"But when I first brought a screwed-up tape to New York, they couldn't say they'd heard that before," he continued. "That was original to Houston."

DJ Screw's innovation gave Houston not only a sound but an economic model, too. With the rise of mixtape culture, Houston had a sprawling, decentralized distribution system to match its sprawling, decentralized landscape, and the leading mixtape rappers found they didn't really need major-label deals or radio play or even nightclub hits. If they could sell 20,000 mixtapes in Houston and nearby cities, and if they could book a steady string of live appearances, then they could get by. On a recent interview on the underground Houston hip-hop radio show "Damage Control," Lil Keke said he was satisfied with his career so far: "I wasn't living like a rapper," he conceded - no gold-plated Bentley, no new-money palace. "But I was living like a doctor."

The problem with the Houston model is that it isn't scalable. It's one thing to sell 20,000 mixtapes at local shops and flea markets, but if you want to sell, say, 200,000, then you'll probably need national distribution. And at that point, someone might notice that your mixtape is full of freestyles set to other people's beats, full of unauthorized remixes, full of uncleared samples. In short, your mixtape is illegal.

Things are changing. Southern hip-hop was once an exotic alternative to the New York City mainstream, but now rappers from the "Dirty South" routinely outsell their Northern counterparts. And the old-fashioned mixtape model is starting to be affected by the Internet, which makes mixtapes even easier to bootleg, but also makes it easier for outsiders to explore Houston hip-hop. Matt Sonzala, a host of the "Damage Control" radio show, maintains an invaluable blog, houstonsoreal.blogspot.com, where fans can stay up to date on Houston minutiae. And in "Still Tippin'," Paul Wall acknowledges his online fans and foes: "I got the Internet going nuts."

Few have done more to promote the current Houston boom than Michael "5000" Watts, the D.J. and remixer who runs Swisha House Records with his partner, G Dash. Mr. Watts has screwed and chopped mainstream hip-hop albums for Universal Records, and Swisha House has churned out a ruthless barrage of slick, prominently branded mixtapes. Now, with help from Warner Brothers, the label is turning its local stars into national ones.

First up is Mr. Jones, who had the prescience to turn his rather plain name into a catchphrase, which makes its appearance about halfway through "Still Tippin'," when he slurs, "I'm Mike Jones/Who?/Mike Jones." Speaking of Mr. Jones, Mr. Watts remembers, "He came to me as a businessman, not an artist," and you don't have to know much about either man to realize that this is meant as high praise. As well as advertising himself and his album, Mr. Jones loves to advertise his phone number, which is printed on his promotional T-shirts; you can call him right now at (281) 330-8004.

The "Who Is Mike Jones?" album mainly lives up the hype that its author so skillfully created. (Like most Swisha House releases, this one is to be packaged with a bonus chopped and screwed version.) Mr. Jones has an entertaining, Screw-influenced style, calling out his lyrics in a boyish voice and often repeating his favorite phrases, as if controlled by an invisible D.J. He's best at his simplest, as when he rhymes, "I'm holding wood wheel in the turning lane / My candy paint leaving stains in the turning lane," transforming a Houston commonplace (those folks sure make it easy for a driver to turn left) into an infectious hook.

Houston's increasingly high profile has caused some turmoil. As Lil' Flip was ascending into mainstream hip-hop stardom, he became entangled in a damaging feud with the smooth but ferocious Atlanta rapper T. I. (the two men reportedly had a minor physical altercation in Houston a few weeks ago). Flip found, to his dismay, that much of Houston sided with the visiting team. It seemed some Houstonians were already sick of Lil' Flip, even though most of the country was just getting to know him. And an ex-Swisha House rapper named Chamillionaire made a vituperative mixtape about the flashy, fame-hungry rapper he calls "Dyke Jones."

Besides Mr. Jones, the most likely Houston rapper to succeed is Slim Thug, a charismatic giant who is signed to Star Trak, the Interscope imprint run by the Neptunes. He's the main force behind the success of "Still Tippin' ": that's his slowed-down voice on the chorus, and he rhymes the enthralling first verse. And though the release of Slim Thug's album has been pushed back a few times (an early version was widely bootlegged), he doesn't seem worried. "I never wanted my solo record to be a small record," Slim Thug said in an interview, and judging by the thunderous underground hits scheduled for inclusion, it won't be.

Still, the depressing reality of the Houston boom is that only a few rappers will really benefit from it. Everyone else will be left to carry on more or less as before: a city of rappers struggling to live like doctors.

On a recent night in Houston, while Mr. Jones was working on his new video, a Houston hero named Devin the Dude could be found in a sweetly scented little music studio southwest of the city, working on some new tracks. He has a delicious, light-headed style, gobs of self-deprecating wit and a fistful of big-name fans, including Dr. Dre, the Roots and, somehow, Carson Daly. But Devin the Dude's most recent album sneaked silently into stores last summer, and there's no guarantee that the next one won't do the same.

Most of Devin's new songs address his favorite subject: female genitalia. (Suffice it to say that's not the term he uses.) But one was a motivational song, and his thin, spaced-out voice came out of the speakers crooning the chorus. "You got to be ready when it comes your way," he sang, accompanied by a simple beat and an acoustic guitar. "Know that you're ready / Fa sho that you're ready."

Like every other rapper in Houston, Devin is intensely aware that the city's hip-hop scene is on the verge of something. But he's been around too long to pretend he knows exactly what. Asked if he had high hopes for his new album, he shrugged and flashed a shy smile. Of course he was hoping that the Houston boom earned him lots of new listeners. "But if it doesn't work out for me," he added, "it'll work out for somebody else."

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http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/17/arts/music/17BSann.html

A Visitor's Guide to the Houston Sound
By KELEFA SANNEH

Published: April 17, 2005
BIG MOE: This outspoken syrup devotee is one of the most engaging members of the Screwed Up Click. His 2002 album "Purple World" (Wreckshop/Priority) is an entertaining introduction to his woozy mix of rapping and crooning.
Audio: 'Still da Barre Baby,' by Big Moe (From the album 'Purple World' ©2002 Wreckshop)

DEVIN THE DUDE: A brilliant oddball with a spaced-out flow. Hear it on last year's "To Tha X-Treme" (Rap-A-Lot), which includes a track based on a Brer Rabbit story.
Audio: 'To the Extreme,' by Devin the Dude (From the album 'To the Extreme' ©2005 Rap-a-Lot)

DJ SCREW: Huge selection at www.screweduprecords.com. Novices might begin with the impeccably sequenced "Endonesia" or "Leanin on a Switch," a freestyler's delight.

GETO BOYS: The group's leader, Scarface, remains one of hip-hop's best storytellers, as he proved on his most recent solo album, "The Fix" (Def Jam South). And in January the Geto Boys, who put Houston on the map in the 1980's, returned with a strong reunion album, "The Foundation," on the long-running label Rap-A-Lot, which has played a crucial role in the scene's evolution.

LIL' FLIP: Last year, Houston's best-selling star released a shaggy but lovable double album, "U Gotta Feel Me" (Columbia). His new mixtape is "Kings of the South" (Clover Geez, find it at www.mixunit.com), a collaboration with the tough-talking raconteur Z-Ro, whose new album, "Let the Truth Be Told" (Rap-A-Lot), is due out next month.
Audio: 'Sunshine,' by Lil' Flip (Featuring Lea) (From the album 'U Gotta Feel Me' ©2004 Sony Music Entertainment)

PAUL WALL & CHAMILLIONAIRE: This witty, biracial duo released one of the best recent Houston hip-hop albums, "Get Ya Mind Correct" (Paid in Full). They've since parted ways, but both have major-label debuts due this summer.

SLIM THUG: Originally with Swisha House, he's now signed to Interscope, part of the Neptunes' Star Trak camp. Visit bosshoggoutlawz.com to buy the swaggering mixtapes with which he made his name, as well as "Welcome to Tha Hood," by his fierce protégé, Killa Kyleon.
Audio: 'Still Tippin',' by Chamillionaire, Mike Jones and Slim Thug (From the album 'The Day After Hell Broke Loose' ©2005 Rap-a-Lot/Asylum)

SWISHA HOUSE: This ambitious label, now hooked up with Warner Brothers, is known for its mixtapes. One of the best is "The Day Hell Broke Loose 2" (swishahouse.com), a dud-free compilation.

UGK: The duo's 1996 masterpiece, "Ridin' Dirty" (Jive), is full of tough, intricate, impossibly smooth rhymes. And last month Rap-A-Lot released "Sweet James Jones Stories," a surprisingly consistent collection of rhymes from Pimp C, the group's incarcerated half.
Audio: 'Ridin' Dirty,' by UGK (From the album 'Ridin' Dirty' ©1996 Jive)

OTHER MIXTAPES: Bun B contributes tongue-twisting rhymes to "Southern Smoke 17: The Texas Mixtape Massacre" (www.djsmallz.com). And Rapid Ric's new CD, "[b][size=24][color=red]Whut It Dew 2" (find it at www.thescrewshop.com)[/color],[/size][/b] includes "Country Boy," a bluesy collaboration between Paul Wall and Killa Kyleon. And don't miss "Drama" (also at www.thescrewshop.com). the spectacularly cantankerous new mixtape from the eager antihero Trae.

And definitely peep this for some more of the real:

Austin American Statesman Put It Down Hard For Us So Real

And speaking of real, I met a publicist who really seems to understand the southsoreal and is like so behind what we are doing. Nancy Byron has a good grip on this shit, and she's now repping Chamillionaire so she's bout to blow up big time to $10,000 per month proportions and shit, so holler at her now... I'm serious, Chamillion is THE one, I'll get into that later. Interview coming soon. But I'm saying, I kicked it with Nancy, peeped her vision and how she physically stopped me from bunning down Viacom (I know it's bad politics, but shit, I ain't no politician) and I gotta say she's real. Fuck with that. www.ogpr.net



Bun stopped me too. Bun down Babylon. I wanna see all you east coasters in New York City at Sway on April 25th, that's next Monday, when me and Rapid Ric come thru to celebrate Roxysoreal's bday and fucking bun down babylon with the realness. Shit I'm drunk at 8 p.m. on a Sunday. Lemme peep these Simpsons...